So a few times yesterday I wanted to blog, but I never had time. I certainly had something to say yesterday afternoon. At the pool hall around lunch time I get a phone call from Dots and the conversation went like this, "Can I get a thing of fries and can you open the back door for me?" "Can't you use the front door?" "I guess."
For one, it was only -14. Secondly, do I look like I want to walk to the back of the room to open a door for you because you're so much of a princess that you can't take the 10 seconds to put on your coat and the 25 seconds to walk outside over to us? No. Hell no. You can take your skinny 19 year old ass into the place like everyone else does. If you really want a "thing" of fries, you can work for it, since none of you little retail whores ever tips for anything I do over there. Am I your slave? You work at Dots. Lucky for these girls, I won't be working another day shift until July or August or something, so they don't have to worry their pretty little hungover heads that I'm going to tell them to use the front door again. What kills me is my boss doesn't give me the star treatment like these girls. I didn't even get a christmas card or a christmas party. F*** you.
Of course when the girls come over for their "thing" of fries. By the way, what's a "thing" of fries? Aren't things things that you don't know what to call them. The thing that they're referring to is an order. I'd like to order some fries, not can you make a thing of fries. For all I know, a thing of fries could be a bunch of things shaped like fries. Maybe I should cut wood into fry shapes and heat them up. Retards. To continue the story, my boss says my name and how I made them use the front door in god forgive me -14 temperatures. It's f***ing winter in the f***ing prairies. Of course it's cold. Move your skinny bitch ass somewhere else. How that one girl affords her coke working there is beyond me. But then again she looks like she needs to gain at least 15 pounds, so I'm sure she saves uses her money for food on coke. Whore. After that they shot me dirty little looks and apparently the coke whore was going to spit in my face. For one, she's a smoker, you're already outside, use the front door you lazy bitch. I thought I would be over this 22 hours later, but hell no. I'm going to be griping about this for a few months. I'm going to remember these stupid girls for at least a decade.
I don't know about you, but I hate when girls give me dirty looks. I just want to slap a bitch for giving me a dirty look. Had no one else been at that front with me, I would have reciprocated the look to them. In fact I would have said something, but I didn't because I'm a few years older and I'm better than those retail princess whores. Who in fact are not all that good looking so they really need to shut their mouths because they don't make much money either. I'm not bending backwards for people like them. Lucky for those girls, they won't be seeing me for a long time. I should go in their store and make a mess for them. It's not like they're that busy in the first place. Whores. Although I was looking pretty smug that I made them walk over outside. Bah hah!
Oh my god, I think I was miserable after that until about 6:15 pm when I finally got to my Christmas party for my other job. I found the party a little awkward. Later on, it didn't feel that way, but it did in the beginning. There's a 19 year old boy who has a crush on me, and I really don't like being around him because he's so obvious. At least if he was normal, or pretended he didn't because he knows I'm not interested then maybe his presence wouldn't piss me off or annoy me. I don't think it helps that everyone else likes to tease me about it. If I were them, I would too. Of course I would. I wouldn't hesitate. Not for a second. On his part, I think I would give up if someone was mean to me or acted like they didn't want to be around me. You can tell. It's like he wants to be ruined and damaged and I'm just not going to be that person. I've had it happen to me. I had it happen to me from someone I loved and trusted who loved me. He's just going to have to find someone else to destroy him. I think guys like being destroyed. So that they can carry this torch of pain from relationship to relationship, using the damaged card to either get laid or get out of things easily. It's weak. Really weak.
To bring the title into this post, part of our Christmas party was to have a comedy show after dinner, dessert and gifts. There was 3 acts and an MC. The first comic from my city did a bit about condoms in public bathrooms. Saying that whenever he goes to a bathroom it never fails for the condoms to say that they are federally approved by the government of Canada. So on his comic travels for shows, one small prairie town bathroom did not have condoms approved by the government. Use them at your own risk kind of thing. He then proceeded to say he wish he bought one. He thought that maybe some plastic wrap and an elastic band would come out.
And then hilarity ensued. The woman behind us whom my coworkers and I were making fun of earlier then said quietly enough so that not the comedian could hear, but just the people within ear shot "it works when you're in a pinch." So the 6 of us bursted out laughing at this. I laughed so hard I cried. If you had seen what this woman looked like. She looked nasty. The whole night she said inappropriate things all night, that lowered herself to nasty older woman. Seriously. If this woman says it works when you're in a pinch, then I believe her. I think I just won't have sex if it comes down to me using plastic wrap and an elastic band. Sorry, but no thanks. I can't imagine wanting it that bad that I have to stoop to homemade modes of contraception. I'm sure she's going to hell. I bet she's even aborted some babies of her own. I'm going to hell for saying that too.
Just because I said it, doesn't mean you have to try it. And if you think I'm going to walk to the back of the room to let you in, when the front door is open, you've got another thing coming.
