It Works If You're In A Pinch

So a few times yesterday I wanted to blog, but I never had time. I certainly had something to say yesterday afternoon. At the pool hall around lunch time I get a phone call from Dots and the conversation went like this, "Can I get a thing of fries and can you open the back door for me?" "Can't you use the front door?" "I guess."

For one, it was only -14. Secondly, do I look like I want to walk to the back of the room to open a door for you because you're so much of a princess that you can't take the 10 seconds to put on your coat and the 25 seconds to walk outside over to us? No. Hell no. You can take your skinny 19 year old ass into the place like everyone else does. If you really want a "thing" of fries, you can work for it, since none of you little retail whores ever tips for anything I do over there. Am I your slave? You work at Dots. Lucky for these girls, I won't be working another day shift until July or August or something, so they don't have to worry their pretty little hungover heads that I'm going to tell them to use the front door again. What kills me is my boss doesn't give me the star treatment like these girls. I didn't even get a christmas card or a christmas party. F*** you.

Of course when the girls come over for their "thing" of fries. By the way, what's a "thing" of fries? Aren't things things that you don't know what to call them. The thing that they're referring to is an order. I'd like to order some fries, not can you make a thing of fries. For all I know, a thing of fries could be a bunch of things shaped like fries. Maybe I should cut wood into fry shapes and heat them up. Retards. To continue the story, my boss says my name and how I made them use the front door in god forgive me -14 temperatures. It's f***ing winter in the f***ing prairies. Of course it's cold. Move your skinny bitch ass somewhere else. How that one girl affords her coke working there is beyond me. But then again she looks like she needs to gain at least 15 pounds, so I'm sure she saves uses her money for food on coke. Whore. After that they shot me dirty little looks and apparently the coke whore was going to spit in my face. For one, she's a smoker, you're already outside, use the front door you lazy bitch. I thought I would be over this 22 hours later, but hell no. I'm going to be griping about this for a few months. I'm going to remember these stupid girls for at least a decade.

I don't know about you, but I hate when girls give me dirty looks. I just want to slap a bitch for giving me a dirty look. Had no one else been at that front with me, I would have reciprocated the look to them. In fact I would have said something, but I didn't because I'm a few years older and I'm better than those retail princess whores. Who in fact are not all that good looking so they really need to shut their mouths because they don't make much money either. I'm not bending backwards for people like them. Lucky for those girls, they won't be seeing me for a long time. I should go in their store and make a mess for them. It's not like they're that busy in the first place. Whores. Although I was looking pretty smug that I made them walk over outside. Bah hah!

Oh my god, I think I was miserable after that until about 6:15 pm when I finally got to my Christmas party for my other job. I found the party a little awkward. Later on, it didn't feel that way, but it did in the beginning. There's a 19 year old boy who has a crush on me, and I really don't like being around him because he's so obvious. At least if he was normal, or pretended he didn't because he knows I'm not interested then maybe his presence wouldn't piss me off or annoy me. I don't think it helps that everyone else likes to tease me about it. If I were them, I would too. Of course I would. I wouldn't hesitate. Not for a second. On his part, I think I would give up if someone was mean to me or acted like they didn't want to be around me. You can tell. It's like he wants to be ruined and damaged and I'm just not going to be that person. I've had it happen to me. I had it happen to me from someone I loved and trusted who loved me. He's just going to have to find someone else to destroy him. I think guys like being destroyed. So that they can carry this torch of pain from relationship to relationship, using the damaged card to either get laid or get out of things easily. It's weak. Really weak.

To bring the title into this post, part of our Christmas party was to have a comedy show after dinner, dessert and gifts. There was 3 acts and an MC. The first comic from my city did a bit about condoms in public bathrooms. Saying that whenever he goes to a bathroom it never fails for the condoms to say that they are federally approved by the government of Canada. So on his comic travels for shows, one small prairie town bathroom did not have condoms approved by the government. Use them at your own risk kind of thing. He then proceeded to say he wish he bought one. He thought that maybe some plastic wrap and an elastic band would come out.

And then hilarity ensued. The woman behind us whom my coworkers and I were making fun of earlier then said quietly enough so that not the comedian could hear, but just the people within ear shot "it works when you're in a pinch." So the 6 of us bursted out laughing at this. I laughed so hard I cried. If you had seen what this woman looked like. She looked nasty. The whole night she said inappropriate things all night, that lowered herself to nasty older woman. Seriously. If this woman says it works when you're in a pinch, then I believe her. I think I just won't have sex if it comes down to me using plastic wrap and an elastic band. Sorry, but no thanks. I can't imagine wanting it that bad that I have to stoop to homemade modes of contraception. I'm sure she's going to hell. I bet she's even aborted some babies of her own. I'm going to hell for saying that too.

Just because I said it, doesn't mean you have to try it. And if you think I'm going to walk to the back of the room to let you in, when the front door is open, you've got another thing coming.

The Story About Running Into An Ex In Another City At A Strip Club

I originally wanted to title this post "he has a big penis" and supposedly, that's the kind of things that girls want to hear about guys. Maybe I'm not normal, but I really don't want to know those things about people unless I'm dating them or want to date them. For any other reason, please don't talk about penis size. I have another friend who always says "it's not how big it is, but what you do with it." I didn't want to know he had a small penis, but he went and said it anyway.

So my day started out real crap-like. I cried multiple times before 9:23 and almost had a cry at 12:30. I am so ridiculous sometimes, I can't believe people want to be around me. Once I signed out of work, my day just went fantastic. Went for drinks after work, then had some more with some co-workers. Had a good chat. Went home. Got ready and went out again. Social life today was a 8 out of 10. I had a great time with my friend A. She made me feel like an adult. In her words we're "little adults". It made me smile and it makes so much sense. I look forward to the near future and the "little adult" things we have planned.

So I officially have an apartment which I move into March 1st, but technically not until the 3rd and technically I probably won't sleep over until that Friday. I wanted to wish February away, but there is so much to look forward to. A. C working with me and M next week. B. Buying furniture and house accessories a.k.a spending money C. Single Ladies Valentine's night and D. Wilco. Next month looks to be shaping up and I'm glad I have things to look forward to.

I wanted to be angry, but my spirits are high, so complaining is at a minimum. Now I'm trying to get the things I want/need pretty quick here because it's about time it happens.

He Said My Name and I Missed It

I think that says it all. That's how I feel like the whole day, by day I mean my working day went. And then after that it went fab. I looked at bachelor apartment. The only thing stopping me from getting it are my references. Leave it up to George to say previous things like "who wouldn't giving you a glowing review?" So nice. I'm sure it's mine, but I need to wait for the official. Although the manager and owner made it sound like a done deal. Too bad I hadn't learned that lesson the first time, because I would be moving into my dream apartment next Monday, but alas I'm not. Like I said, I missed it and I know that I'll hear another time, but it's that first time that matters most and the whole thing has gone to shite.

I thought I would be complaining more, but my current disposition has left me feeling optimistic despite the lessons I had to learn in the first place. I'm wishing I could go back in time and fix it. My heart hurts. Seriously. Still shedding tears on the should have been. This isn't a metaphor for my life is it? Aim and miss, end up settling, but it all turns out? God I hope not. I'm just sad that there is lack of lighting, the brown carpet and the fact that the room just isn't long enough. I'm sure some imagination, so esthetic eye will make the place 80% better than what it looked like today.

Currently Lucille has one arm over my typing arm and purring like a weirdo. It's pretty darn cute, but seriously odd. It soon will be just me and her and I wonder if the lack of space is going to make her go mental. I don't think so, as long as she has a window sill to sit on and my bed to lay, she'll most likely be fine.

I really just want to go on about my crap working day, but somehow I'm over the damn thing. Which is weird because there are some stupid little things that still enrage me like Chris, that woman complaining about walking across the street and there being no coffee and that fucking bag pipe on Friday afternoon after that horrible experience with a customer and stupid tuna sandwich. Suck it. They can all suck it. Every single one of those people can suck it. Although the bag pipe player does not need to suck it. He blows and he blows real fine. Tee hee.

Don't Forget the Limes (And the Salt)

During the day, usually into the afternoon is the time when I start hating on my present situation. For someone reason I can never see the positives in my life right now, just the negatives. Such as I wish I had a career or made more money. I now only have two single friends left which is making me feel lonely for being single. Not to mention how single I feel when I'm hanging out with a bunch of couples makes me feel like the odd one out. Although, I always think of the the regular essayist of Elle Canada Magazine, and how Tabatha is always single and her friends always set her up with weird people or need someone to fill an empty place setting for a dinner party and it makes me feel normal.

Or the fact that I'm super impatient and can't find any ads that interest me for a place. My heart is still set on the beautiful little apartment that I wasn't even considered for nor probably even glanced at *tear*. And all I want is that apartment and I still get choked up on it because I know I'm not going to find anything quite as nice and quaint as that one. I've seen some reasonable places, but they're all on the other end of the city and I'm so not interested in living that far away from where I already reside. I think I may have to give up on that one. My heart still lingers on its granite counter-tops, cherry hardwood floors, creamy tiles and the French balcony door.

It never fails when I'm hating on myself, that when I go work at the pool hall, I feel loads better about myself. People treat me like a human being- an equal. Maybe if I didn't have to wear a uniform that made me feel frumpy and unattractive, all the stuck up customers would shut their non-verbal judging mouths (at my day job that is). Regardless I have a great time, joke, laugh and just feel great. It's one of the reasons I can't let the place go yet, and I'm not sure when I will leave the place that feels so much like my working home, that I don't know what I would do without it.

Although I don't drink tequila, next time I order it, I can't forget the limes or the salt.

Jersey Shore

How typical that I would talk about an MTV reality show as a first posting, but since this is my second blog, I would concur that I don't need a real introduction.

I started watching Jersey Shore a little less than two weeks ago and today I finally finished it. For one, I was unbelievably happy that Angelina left the house because her big ass mouth would never stop talking. One of my favourite things some of the things that came out of her mouth saying the girls that the guys brought back had no class and were trash were hilarious. A mouth like hers and the way she looked and dressed was so not classy and she needed to take a look at herself. Other than that I absolutely loved the show. I think it would be awesome if they had another Jersey Shore with different "guidos" and "guidettes".

If you haven't watched the show yet, I think you should.

Secondly, another on of my favourite shows on MTV is having a second season. This show is a lot classier than Jersey Shore. It's called Taking the Stage and it is about a bunch of talented high school students at an art academy trying to break-through doing what they love. Only one of the characters is the same from the first season, since he will be completing grade 12. I'm not sure whether they will catch up on the past cast members and saying what they are up to, but I'm hoping that something good has come from it. It starts February 4th - I feel super lame plugging TV shows, but I can't help it.

To be honest, I seriously don't feel like catching up on my usual programming after they have been on hiatus for two to two and half months. I wish I already watched the season finales since I am so not in the mood to start watching them anymore. I have better things to do with my time like sleep or read or watch movies. sadly, none of the things I listed were about having a social life. I'm hoping that in the course of writing this new blog, my life may suddenly change. Ha ha, I can't be serious... needless to say, I need to start writing again and what better way than to talk about anything and not being restricted to the topic of movies. There is only so much you can say about movies. I think I will also feel less guilty if I get behind on this one. Although I don't know if I actually want anyone to know anything about my detailed life since in my opinion it is a bit pathetic. Complaining though, that's something I'm pretty good at.

Lastly, check out the shows. At least the second one. Those kids have some talent and it is great seeing young people's dreams come true *tear... sniff*.