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For anyone who knows me, it's been a long and hard week. I'm finding it almost impossible to grieve like a normal person. I don't mean this in an insensitive way, but what a pain in the ass it is to suddenly not exist and all the paperwork left behind and the people to contact and tying lose ends you never thought of until the moment you have to think of them. Not to mention the amount of phone calls coming all the time. The support is wonderful. I'd like to thank everyone who has offered to be there for me and for a talk. When I'm ready to talk, when I need help or a friend to lean on, I know who to come to. I'll ask for it when I need it.

The source to my killer allergies are from all the flowers in the house downstairs. They're all so beautiful and physically making me miserable. I've cheated on paleo now since Tuesday. Strange about the whole thing is my whole body and tastebud's reaction to actual food and the lack of appetite for anything healthy other than candy, cake and chips. I can't imagine this is any good for me.

On the flip side, the villa I'm staying at in France is gorgeous. It has 5 bedrooms, 5 bathes, an ocean view, verandas, a sauna and a swimming pool, not to mention the white marble countertops in the kicthen. I won't believe it until I see it. And just like I recently told my Dad, I won't be excited until I land and I see that it's real. I think I'm feeling the same way about him too right now.

It's my Birthday next week, but I'm not sure how I feel about the whole thing. I wasn't going to go until Miss. J made a facebook event of the thing and now I feel obligated to go my own Birthday party. If you know me and I haven't sent you the invite and you're not someone I hate and don't want to see again in my life, you're welcome to join. I'm not sure I'll be a lot of fun that night. In fact, I'm sure you might have to watch out for me. It could be a dangerous night for me and I would like everyone to be my conscience and make sure I don't do anything I'll regret or have a moral conscience about the next day.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend. The weather could be warmer. I could use just a little more warmth these days.