Saying What You Mean and Meaning What You Say

The new year isn't just about new beginnings and starting fresh or slugging off dead weight. It's about growing, it's about learning and it's about moving forward.

I've learned that honesty is incredibly important. It's valuable. Even if it hurts, the sooner it's said, the less damage there is in the long run. With honesty comes respect. You may not like what you hear when someone is honest with you, but you can respect that they've said something to you.

I hadn't realized how important it is to tell people what you think or feel either about them or about something. I learned this lesson at a heavy price. I will for as long as I live have things I want to tell my father. To have them acknowledged by him. To tell him the truth and how I feel and how I'd like to move forward now that I've said them. But I will never get to tell him. It's not a regret, but it's pretty close to it. It's not my fault that I thought I had time to say it. Now I'm in the habit of telling people what I think when I don't like something. Because I don't want to regret not saying it. I don't want it to hang over me. I don't want it restricting me. I don't want it to weigh me down. It's not in the case that if I die tomorrow I haven't left anything unsaid. It's in the event that if the person I have things to say to dies, I have said it. It's been cleared. Which is slightly morbid. 

In the event that the cute strawberry blonde rhythm guitar player who played at Bud's in March and April of 2006 and if your name is Travis and you ever find this post, I wish I talked to you; that I introduced myself. I do know it was nearly 5 years ago, but I've said it. This thought hangs somewhere in the digital world, but it exists. And it has the potential to be found. 

The song to accompany this post is 'If Looks Could Kill' by Musicforanimals. I would include the song if I hadn't written this on my iPod and not on my laptop. If you have time search for the song on YouTube, listen to it because it's a pretty good song. 

All I have to say is that if you have anything left to say to someone, say it. Just make sure it comes from the right place and not one from pain and hurt. Honesty and saying things to hurt someone are not the same thing. It matters to distinguish between the two.