I'm On a Boat

I think I last left off when I was bored at the Villa waiting for the Greygoose guys.

They finally showed up. Apparently they got lost because they're GPS was sending them to the other side of Cannes. I helped them bring up some 30 odd boxes up a flight of about 25 steps. It was sunny out and it was definitely my cardio for the day. Sans sweat. I tried hanging out with them, but they were just juicing lemons and limes by hand for about 4 hours. Boo.

When the girls finally made it, I had about 15 minutes to get ready to go work the WS2 shuttle. Basically we got to the Carlton, found out we had to wait about an hour and 15, then J and I ate at some Italian restaurant with some French Italian man kept calling us bambinos. The food was delicious. The procioutto is even better. In fact, I'm going to go as boldly as to say that it's the best I've had. Hands down. best cured ham I've ever had. At 8pm we made it back to the Calrton, got our list for the party, then headed for destination: shuttle. Although where they planned it to be and where the invite said were two different things. We finally found our security and waited impatiently for our buses which were late.

Surprisingly, people found us and got onto our buses. The magic ticket was a million dollar bill. Sadly, I didn't get one, they had to be ripped up so that no one else could use them to get into the party. We got some party crashers. Some French men whom didn't speak a lick of English. And then some Irish woman showed up saying that they had their tickets sent to them by phone. Which was basically them taking a picture of the invite telling them where to go. They weren't on the list and they didn't have a green million dollar bill. No entry. Although they said they were with the Belissis', but they never answered their phone and weren't on the list. We fought with them saying no for 20 minutes. That's a long time to beg to get into a party you're not supposed to be in.

The shuttle died and me and J got to go to the party. The nights are cold here, so I wasn't dressed for this party at all. In fact, I felt like a slob between the tuxes and gowns that everyone was wearing. Needless to say, I saw my share of actors. The leading cast of Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps was there. I didn't meet any of them, but I was working and I felt sadly underdressed. A little gossip for you SLB and CM were fighting the night before and at the after party, which sent him leaving the party quickly and in a huff. BTW he's hot. Super hot. I just looked at him wishing I could meet his good looking self. We had some champagne, then hit the dance floor. It wasn't really a dance floor, but we made it one. Us dancing changed the DJ's party music going. The DJ was Fabian and he plays on some Sirius station. The changing of the music and us (the people we were with) dancing ended up with a whole bunch of people dancing too. I spent the night on the dance floor dancing near the former VS model Karolina Kurkova. She's hot. She's tall. And she's always barefoot?

Then we left the party because it was shutting down. I left with a new group of people to go to V.I.P. Room. It was basically a giant grid set up in front of the place with about 150 people trying to get in. We waited in line, we couldn't get in. These two girls were fighting with this French dude with tattoos circling his neck. He looked like you shouldn't mess with him. He got so fed up with them that he just walked away. Good on him. Although the girls were critical of him for some odd reason. We walked up the street to catch our ride. I ended up seeing Omar Beson Millar walking down the street towards V.I.P. staggering like a drunk fool. We hopped into the bus, then a bunch of nobodies according to D jumped in which pissed her off, so we (Me, J and D) walked back to V.I.P. We got in. It was nothing special. The music was good. That's it. D told me this is what Eurotrash is and this is where they go. We got the rest of the people I was with earlier into V.I.P. and then left shortly after.

There are almost no places in Cannes that serve food late at all. We hit a pizza/resto/bar and ordered some pizza to take to the Villa. Cuba Gooding Jr. was behind us at a table at the same place. Everyone was leaving him alone, so I'm sure he enjoyed himself at the little place. The pizza was delicious. And then I went to bed.

Saturday was cold, windy and rainy, and J and I were working the door again, only I didn't bring a dressy jacket because I thought it would be a little nicer here. I ended up standing in a mini-skirt and tank top in the wind and rain for 3 hours letting people into this Weinstein party. Nonetheless, there were no celebs in the party at all. After the party we hit up some yacht, which I found out once we left was full of prostitutes. It's common for most the prostitutes to be Russian. I don't make the rules. So now I'm trying to find out what a prostitute looks like, especially european ones.

D and R were going to the Vanity Fair party, which was being held on the Hotel Du Capp's property, so J, I, T and E went to eat and have drinks at the lobby at the Capp and D and R were going to the party. The Hotel wasn't serving food, so we left to find something to eat. It ended up being some restaurant that wanted to shut down their kitchen, but we schmoozed them into making food for us. Surprise surprise, they made us pizza. And mine was the best. We also wanted some pomme de frites, which the waiter said no, but E kindly went to the kitchen and asked them to make us some. They made us a giant plate, and I mean giant plate of fries which were really good. We had T and E try to mimic our Canadian accents, which ended up with Tom for the last 3 days saying house, which sounded more Australian to me. We made jokes about the Discotheque beside the restaurant having a long line to get in. We then took pictures of us trying to get in. Everyone was under 5'5" and dressed like and looked like the cast of Jersey Shore.

We went back to the Hotel Du Capp, where the VF party was ending. We were just standing in the lobby, as the guests came into the lobby. I saw Martin Scorcese. He's better looking in person and he's maybe a whole 5' tall. The man is short. We also saw Steven Baldwin, who is also not tall order a drink for the bar. Didn't he go to rehab? Or was that a joke in a movie??? Again we saw Karolina Kurkova dressed ina beautiful black gown. Also not wearing any shoes. Cuba came in later who D actually knows, whom she introduced him to everyone except me. I felt a bit snubbed. The guys and me left for the Villa to catch some zzzz's.

Later on J and D came back to the Villa waking me up. J telling me that RP was at the party and came into the lobby and the whole room stopped as we waltzed in his his black pants, white shirt and black tie combo. My sister tells it better. That everyone saw the vampire enter and were transfixed by him as he came and went through the hotel. Tears. I moped all day yesterday about the whole thing.

To get to the title, we went to Monaco to see the Grand Prix from a yacht. Not just any yacht. yes I'm going to boast a bit, since I am, we were on Jenson Button's boat whom is a F1 driver. we had the best view of the race, since it was along side the track. He was racing, but he never finished the race. It was loud. And I mean loud. I had ear plugs in, couldn't hear a thing anyone was saying, but those damn cars were still really loud. After the race we hung out on the yacht. After that we staggered into Monaco by way of walking on the race track. We tried looking for some place to eat. No such luck. I did by my first souvenirs. Yay on me. We drove back to Cannes. Ate at Nikki Beach which according to Rudie our driver is a big deal. The set up a small bar down by the beach during the film festival and then pack up and leave. The food I ordered wasn't cooked. My chicken was pink on the outside. M it reminded me of Concourse, except the price they were selling this chicken was 4 times as much, just as crappily cooked, but it was real chicken. After that we dropped J, T and R at some yacht party and D, E and myself came back to the Villa to sleep.

And then I woke up. But the whole time on the yacht, all I wanted to do was sing this song, but I didn't because it was neither the time or place to bring it up. So in memory of me wanting to sing it, I've included it.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.